This weekend is a
blogging carnival (click this link to read more) and I think any adoptive parent might have a lot to say about this topic.
We started this process almost 17 years ago.
And back then we weren't told much. To be honest the
SWer's may have told us really important stuff but the reality is we weren't ready to listen!
I remember talking with couples when I was involved in the adoption education talking about the grief of infertility. No one told me that 3 children on that every period is still a reminder that as a woman I failed.
People told me once you adopt the infertility issues disappear. I remember telling people that never goes away and it hasn't! The grief isn't as deep or as hard as it was prior to children coming to me. It is still there each and everyday!
I remember that no one told me being a parent would at times make me so angry! It would at times require all my strength to walk away form the child before I would want to hurt them.
No one told me this stuff and maybe I wouldn't be ready to hear it!
The difference now 3 adopted children on, I do tell parents waiting or PAP that parenting when you have made a choice to adopt, is one of the hardest decisions we ever made. There are times when you may look at your child and say why did we do this!
I don't like your behaviour but I will fake it until I make it!
Trying to decide what is normal behaviour and what is due to the disruption that have experienced is a fine line to walk.
No one told me the difference between open adoption and International adoption would bring amazing questions and the assumption that we decided to rescue our daughters that breaks my heart on a daily basis.
We made our decision to adopt from Overseas because we couldn't complete our family with in New Zealand.
This has bought its own set of challenges however we know both types of adoptions have caused family and friends to question our intentions.
We also know that the sleep deprivation and post adoption depression is hard on any relationship and between siblings and partners it can cause such stress.
What no one told me and the biggest surprise was, how fiercely I would defend each and every child that became my child.
Or how much we would love them and be surprised by others comments!
I just everyday count our blessings and know that children were meant to come to me and not from me and they are here for a limited time.
I can sit back and be so proud of their achievements as they are not linked into my genetics and we have supported them to achieve what they are capable of.
I will leave you with a poem written by a 14 year old before our children were placed in our arms and still brings a tear to my eyes!
To Ruth and Keith –Who I wrote this Poem for
My Child
I look at you
My child
And my wonder does not cease
You are mine My Child
I look at you
And I think of all the pain we went through for You
All Those years of Emptiness, Loneliness, Heartache, Despair.
The rare highs, the frequent lows
The times we thought we had succeeded
Only to be let down – Again
We learnt not to say anything until we were sure
We
didn’t say much after that.
Until we finally realised
You
weren’t meant to come through us but to us
I look at you My Child
And though we do not look alike
There is no mistaking
You are Ours
You were born not of our
Bodies
But of our
Hearts
You did not develop inside my Womb
But you will grow inside our Love
You will become your own Person
But we will always be your Parents
You are our Child
You were Meant to Be
I look at you My Child
And my Wonder does not Cease
Arohanui Laura
Just know that no matter what my children grew in my heart and now they grow in each others too. We have an amazing family and Keith and I are truly thankful each and everyday!
Hugs Ruth
Taken a fancy to ear rings. Here are the clip on ones we managed to find!
She has had her Eczema flare up and her checks and elbows are a bit nasty with dry patches and rashes!
She has developed Hay fever and is struggling with coping she has irritated eyes and ear canals! Plus loads of sneezing!
Here she was trying to pose for the camera! But her nose was itchy!
Emily was very excited and forgot her routine! We were very proud of her doing all her work and being brave enough to go out on the floor and do her routine!
She loved having on her outfit! And having the big girls do her hair for her!
We were as proud of punch and we enjopyed watching the girls! I wonder how long she will do this? 
Aiden is great with the girls and here he was reading the girls a story and he became grumpy because I took photos! :)
Alice's first photos we recieved had her on a Hello Kitty blow up chair!
At the end of Last month we celebrated 5 years with Emily!
The eye is watching you more and more each and everyday!
Alice also loves picking flowers and bringing them inside I just love watching her develop and grow!
Emily dressing up with shawls, boa's and fancy Nancy clothes!
Alice loves dressing up it is so sweet to see her busy wearing dress ups!
This is one of the girls favourite things! Cupcakes!!!!!!
Why do they need to Climb? It is amazing to watch Emily want to be cuddled like Alice and Alice be like Emily!
Ouch My Baby lost her first baby tooth last night! She was very happy with the tooth fairy gift that arrived! A butterfly ring.
Why does she want to wear PJ's that are almost 2 sizes too small? I have just cleaned out all her draws except PJ's becuase at least she is at home and does it matter to anyone other than me? Probably not! :)
On the 29 August 2004 5 years ago we received a very hot and sad baby in Nanchang PRC. It is amazing how much she has changed and how far we all have come.
We just love Miss Alice's face in this shot we are getting these faces more frequently!
Here is Keith and the kids are showing him some loving!
We love Alice's expression in this photo!
Then Keith got cheeky!
Nothing like kisses from the Kiddos!
This is the usual attachment Keith has Miss Alice on his lap wherever and whenever she can! His cling on baby!
Mummy and her girls! This was actually taken after the party!
See I did survive!
This is the only photo of the Party cake a number 6 and an E Lollie cake!
Tired girl
Party animal!
Party time!
Alice really wanted to be held today! Luckily we had Jacqueline here and she was fantastic!
Boys! Aiden was exhausted and asked if he had that much energy at 6!
Dance mania!
Dance mania contd!
Note beautiful spring day outside we ate outside and bounced on the trampoline!
On the 18th August 1995 we saw our son's photo for the first time! And boy how our lives have changed! 
This photo was a couple of weeks later like it is now!
He certainly was a wriggler!
Keith looked so awkward but was developing his parenting skills and our friends and family were worried that this may fall through!
What I know for sure ~ Aiden hates thinking he will miss out on anything!
The birthday girl herself is so pleased to be 6 and was full of attitude which we are going to have to curb however today wasn't the day for it!
Aiden taking photos for I looked really terrible and told him no photos of me! Tomorrow we will get a photo!
This was at 7 am and she was just about ready for bed again! She came down with a nasty bug! and vomited all over Emily's bed just after we put them to bed last night and it was every layer of Emily's bed was affected except Emily herself!
Emily asked for a purple cake with butterflies but with Alice home sick this was what I could do! She was happy with the outcome I think!
I am so clever I can decorate cakes upside down now! LOL!
Aunty Sandra and Emily opening the rest of her presents from the morning! My she was spoiled!
the birthday Princess about to eat her Chinese take out! Yum!
After their baths Pj's and cake what a way to end the evening!
Alice a little more perky than she had been all day!
The three siblings not an once of blood joins these guys but never have I seen so much love for each other, everyday! We are all truly blessed.
