| Hope you enjoy these! Hugs Ruth Emily's progress!
Well the last week has been hard on us all! Nana is unwell and looking so much more frail! But the most positive thing about the experience is the first time that Emily hasn't thrown one tantrum about going to visit! Generally Emily would have thrown a tantrum! She feels generally unsafe and insecure about the hospital! So we are so proud of her and celebrating the achievement she has made! We are truly amazed by this!
Of course the fact that Nana is still not well! She has the Occupational therapist visiting today to see if her cognitive level is suitable to have her still living by herself! She is such a stubborn woman! She is very quick to think that we are all ganging up on her! so the fact that the kids bought her new pj's and slippers! It is interesting to stand and watch her life as she knows it is slipping away! Old age is a hard reality hopefully for us all! Thanks for all the support and encouraging words! Arohanui Ruth Monday, November 05, 2007Nana Is unwell again!
We have spent the last few hours stressing at home due to Nana being unwell and sick with an infection in the leg without medical treatment she would have been in serious strife!
However she has been on antibiotics since Keith saw her on Saturday and took the kids to visit she had an infection. Keith took her back to the doctor's today and has got home yet it is now after 9 pm. His mother was sent to the hospital for a drip of antibiotics to aid her! And we are still unsure whether she will be admitted! So hopefully we will hear something soon as I have Aiden rumaging in the kitchen looking for something to eat! He is stressed about Nana too! Hugs Ruth CCAA update the website
The CCAA has finished the placement of children for the families whose adoption application documents were registered with our office before December 8, 2005.
So families who have their paperwork logged in by 8 December 2005 have been sent allocations or referrals of babies! We are still waiting and within the next few months we should see Alice's face! our paperwork was logged in after 19 December 2005 and before 10 Jan 2006. we will know more next month! Thanks for the support it is frustrating for families like ours whom thought the wait would be around a year at the most well almost 2 years down we are hanging in there! Hugs Ruth in NZ Thursday, November 01, 2007Adoption Builds our familyThis came to my in box today and I thought I would share it with you all! Thanks Carol for supplying it to me! "Adoption has the dimension of connection - not only to your own tribe but beyond, widening the scope of what constitutes love, ties and family. It is a larger embrace. By adopting we stretch past our immediate circles, and, by reaching out, find an unexpected sense of belonging with others." Isabella Rossellini We have two special gifts one who knows his birthfamily and birth history and one that doesn't but by blending these two treasures they both have gained so much. And so have we! We can only imagine what Alice will bring to our family! Sending positive wishes and hugs to all those families who have early Dec Lid dates who will see their babies faces for the first time in the next week or so! Arohanui Ruth
Sunday, June 17, 2007Life's challenges
Hi all lately we have had a number of challenges in our life!
Work containing most of them for Us both. I wish that life was more simple and that we all manage our workloads more effectively. We also have been faced with how we perceive the children we parent. Both Emily and Aiden to the outside world appear wonderful and yes they are fantastic! The reality is that they both are constantly searching for the love and affection that we freely give but don't always reach the end user the way it was intended! Emily yesterday morning curled up in my bed and told me spontaneously that I was her best Mumma in the whole world! Ah words to melt a Mumma's heart! Then she had a meltdown a short time later! the challenges are to work out what was different! Aiden on the other hand had a busy week and while I was away stepped up to help Keith and Keith said he was really proud of him. Today as a reward of his attitude change he got a video camera that we bought so he could play with it and take great video footage of when we go to China. And the there is China! OMG when will we ever get to go there! I am so worried about the wait increasing and that the age gaps increasing so rapidly! It looks like we are extending out to 3 years for the wait! YIKES! Sunday, February 18, 2007A funny Email!
I must admit people have way too much time on their hands! But having said that we used to play tag at K Mart when it was open late at night and Aiden was little! we used to have a blast!
Hugs Ruth *Subject:* Tesco... Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping. This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford: Dear Mrs. Murray, While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras: 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5- minute intervals. 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3" in housewares..... and watched what happened. 5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove. 7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him,he began to cry and asked, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" 8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it. 9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in theHousewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were. 10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the "Madonna look" using different size funnels. 12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!" 13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again." And; last, but not least: 14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here." Yours sincerely, Charles Brown Store Manager Sunday, February 04, 200710 year old adopted dutch girls finds Birth parents in China
This show aired earlier this week in Holland. The link is available at
http://www.uitzendinggemist.nl/ If you scroll down until you see the program named "spoorloos" in the menu on the left side of the page and click, it will open a new screen with the whole program. It's all in Dutch ... the piece about the 10yo girl starts at about 30min ... at about 40min you see the birth-parents watching a video of the daughter they relinquished. --------begin translated transcript----------- starts at 0:27:35 in church A church in Noord-Holland (province), a couple of weeks ago. We meet Eline. Eline is an altar girl and searching for her Chinese parents. For a couple of years now she has been asking her Dutch parents about her roots. Eline was born in the surroundings of Chongqing. Here she was abandoned shortly after her birth. The first months of her life she stayed with a Chinese foster family. garden Then she is adopted by a Dutch couple. Eline grows op with Anneli. Anneli is 7 years old and she is from another part of China. She is also a foundling, dinner The children form a family with their mother Wilma and their father Jim, who also has Asian blood. A-Father: It's not very obvious that they are adoptive children in our case, so they mingle in and don't arouse questions of the public. Now and then there is a remark: you are Chinese, well, that's right. Interviewer: Eline is now 10 years old, what kind of child is she? A-Mother: She's a delightful child. On one hand she is a little insecure. She is a child who asks many questions about the past, about the why, why couldn't I stay there, why did I have to go, but on the other hand, she is a very inquisitive child, also a cautious person, but she does embrace people. That is very good; when she gives herself then she gives herself 100%. church The two children are very content, but Eline repeatedly asks questions about her past. Interviewer: What kind of questions does she have? A-Mother: Why did I have to go? Where are they? I don't have a picture of them, what will they look like? Did they love me? Why wasn't I allowed to stay there? Interviewer: And she asked those questions of you. A-Mother: Yes, mainly of me. Interviewer: And what was your answer then? A-Mother: I have always said: sweetheart, if you had stayed there, then they would have loved you enormously, because I can't imagine that they wouldn't have loved you. But we also explained to her that they could only have one child there and that the chances are that she has more brothers or sisters. Or that her parents were poor and if they have several children, it would not have been possible for you to stay with them. Interviewer: How does she react to that? A-Mother: She does understand, but you have been relinquished. It remains difficult. It is an answer, but deep in your heart you just want to be wanted. violin Voiceover: Indirectly Jim and Wilma gain contact with a Chinese woman who comes from Chongqing, where Eline was abandoned. She spontaneously offers to search for the biological parents of Eline. Interviewer: When this search succeeds, then one day you could come face to face with her Chinese parents. What will you say to them then? A-Father: That's difficult. For one that we are happy that Eline is with us. There are some things that you can see from Eline, she's quite small, you have seen that, you will probably recognise that in her Chinese parents as well. And then we will see how the conversation develops. Then you have to start building a contact. What we will ask, we will decide at the time. These are the kind of things, you want to know what kind of people they are, to get an idea of how they live and for the rest we have to see how it develops. A-Mother: And I think that I would say what a beautiful daughter they have. That they have a child to be very proud of. Interviewer: Because? A-Mother: Just how she is as a human being. How she is socially. You don't see that with all children. Interviewer: When Eline was abandoned they left a note with her. You gave that to us. Could you read it to us? A-Father: That's right, this is a photocopy of the original note. It's a translation by the way, it said.. [English; not included in this translation, sorry].. Eline: Hello mummy, where are you? Who are you? What's your name? Why did you leave me somewhere? Do you think I'm sweet? I miss you, do you miss me too? Greetings, Eline Kuiper, bye, I will miss you, bye, bye, I will stop, bye. violin ballet Chongqing Voiceover: We are in Chongqing, 2000 kilometre from Beijing. In Chongqing and the surroundings 32 million people live. Because of the neon lighting Chongqing looks like a modern western city at night. By daylight we meet Jocelyn. She was born and raised here and works as a project manager with IBM. Jocelyn managed to get the local media to pay attention to the story of Eline. A local journalist even wrote several articles about it. He did research and a couple of months ago he called Jocelyn with an amazing report. rural area In these surroundings, far from the city, the journalist contacted a farmer and his wife. The man and woman claim that they are the father and mother of Eline. The farming couple is willing to talk to us, but not in their own surroundings. city To abandon a child is of course a big taboo and that's why they would rather not be seen in their own surroundings with a camera team from the West. We invite the man and the woman to come to the centre of Chongqing. Here it doesn't attract so much attention if they have contact with us. We meet in a big hotel where there are a lot of Western businessmen. Father Wen and mother Ming have two children: a daughter of 17 years old and a daughter of 12 years old, Lu. She also comes. We go to a room on the top floor of the hotel. Here Wen and Ming can tell their story without disturbance. B-Father: The child was born at home. And I cut the umbilical cord myself. Interviewer: You didn't go to the hospital B-Father: No. Interviewer: And there was also no family? B-Father: No, none Interviewer: You did it all yourself? B-Father: Yes. When I saw the baby girl, I found her to be very sweet. She had long fingers and long toes. And she looked around immediately. So I could see her eyes. I bundled her up in cloths very well. We didn't want other people to know that she was born. We wanted to keep her for a while before relinquishing her. restaurant Voiceover: The baby is the third child for this couple. After getting their second child, Lu, they had to pay a big fine a couple of years before, which they have still not been able to pay fully. Wen and Ming know that another fine is waiting for them. A fine that they can't possibly pay with their small income. B-Mother: We wanted the child to find good fortune. We were not able to raise her. But in our heart we did want the child. Interviewer: You abandoned the child at the police station? B-Mother: Yes. Interviewer: Did you see anyone picking the child up? B-Mother: Yes, that's why we waited. Interviewer: You didn't walk away immediately? B-Mother: No. Interviewer: Didn't anyone see you then? B-Mother: No. Interviewer: Were you alone, or together? B-Mother: Together. We put her in a basket with a note with her birth date and some milk powder. Interviewer: What kind of basket did you have? B-Mother: A regular basket. We wrapped her things and clothing. And also a bottle of milk. We had to walk to the city. There was no bus. It was far and I had pain in my legs. I didn't know it was that far. But we didn't have much choice. We could hardly abandon her in our own village. Everybody knows us there. I remember that we walked to that place. I remember which place it was. rural area Voiceover: Father Wen is willing to take us to the place where the baby was abandoned. We follow the road they walked ten years ago. It is hours of driving on dirt roads. We end up in a place that looks very different from the modern looking Chongqing. In the suburbs the locals go about their daily activities. There is hardly any traffic. Here and there products are being sold. Chinese people who seem to have nothing to do, give in to another pass time: gambling. We drive to the centre. At the father's request we film as inconspicuously as possible. Then we reach the police station where the child was abandoned. Father Wen asks us to stay seated in the car. We are at the spot where Eline was possibly abandoned 10 years ago. But are these really her biological parents whom we have found? The answer to that question comes from Amsterdam. In this laboratory a DNA test has been carried out at request. The saliva of the Chinese couple is thoroughly analysed and compared with the saliva of Eline. From the results of this research, it will become apparent whether Eline is indeed the first Chinese foundling who can be put in touch with her biological parents. The research will take a couple of weeks. violin The result of the research is known now. The story of father Wen and mother Ming is true. They are the biological parents of Eline. B-Mother: What happiness! It's really a miracle that she ended up there. B-Father: She is beautiful. She must have fallen on her feet. We must be very grateful to her parents for what they have done. I just hope that Eline does not blame us. I feel terribly guilty. B-Mother: I hope we will be forgiven. I really hope that. A-Mother: I have always told her the story as they are telling it themselves now. My feelings always told me that it was this way. Interviewer: They feel guilty. A-Mother: They don't have to. They couldn't have done anything else I think. Interviewer: They are also grateful to you. A-Mother: They also don't have to be. A-Father: We now have a beautiful daughter. A-Mother: What is gratitude? Do the children have to be thankful to us? That they ended up here? Maybe she rather would have stayed there. But you can't turn back time. And we are trying to give her a future here. Interviewer: They see that too, don't they? A-Mother: Yes. Eline: I miss you so, I really do. But I really have to stop now, because I have to go to sleep now. I would have had to do the same if I had stayed with you. Bye bye, and good night. Greetings, Eline. text In the meantime Eline and her sister have watched the images from China. They understood what had happened. The Chinese parents want to meet Eline and her Dutch family very much. Jim and Wilma are planning to go to China with the children this year. Monday, January 29, 2007My Birthday and Wedding annivesrary
Well I turned 43 this past weekend and what a weekend filled with highs and lows!
But on the whole the kids were happy and so was I! I had heaps of messages Cards and presents so am very blessed indeed! I will try and post some photos of the weekend over the next few days! But Thanks to everyone who made the weekend special even if you didn't know it was my birthday and Our 23rd wedding anniversary! Love Ruth Nana is home
Well Nana went home from Hospital on Wednesday while I was out of town!
Her new medicines have all been sorted and Keith has Home support going in to assist her with staying at home! She is still breathless and maybe for sometime. We know that things are getting hard for but home is the best place for her at the moment! Thanks for all the prayers and thoughts! Love Ruth Sunday, January 21, 2007Nana is Sick! Well on Thursday last week Nana rang very breathless! Little did she know at the time she was having a heart attack! Keith travelled across town and while driving he rang her and asked her to push her alarm for the ambulance to come! She did and he arrived before the ambulance. He travelled with her in the ambulance to the hospital. She is very confused about what is actually happening! and very scared about what the future holds but each day she has more resolve! Nana is just a bit frail! She has a fluid build up on her lungs and her legs are looking very swollen and are starting to look very sore. It is probably just a matter of days before her legs start causing her problems! The biggest issue she is currently facing is that she has been asked by the Dr if she wants to be resuscitated if her heart was to stop? So she has done loads of deep thinking! There has been no outcome yet but she has certainly thought about all the options! She has done lots of talking about her family and she is the longest surviving sibling from her family! She is 83 and Frank died when he was 78 so she has survived alot longer than she ever thought! She is one of 9 children and the only one still living. The children's reactions have been interesting! Emily has freaked out by going to the hospital and she isn't sleeping well! So neither are we! Aiden is very sensitive and he has a deeper understanding of all that is happening! He understands the concept that Nana is going to die whether it is this week or in 10 years! But the thought that his beloved Nana isn't going to be here forever has rocked his world! So it is a stressful house! The best thing about it all is that Nana about 9 years ago sorted out what she wanted for her funeral so that is basically planned! Life throws these obstacles up at us from time to time and how we deal with them is a symbol of our character. Emily told a friend of hers at the mall that Nana has a sick heart and is in hospital and has a tricky bed! So all in all we have a tough time ahead! Keith is in shut down mode and finds it hard to think through all the jobs he has to do! But at least her went and cleaned out Ann's house and freezer! He said there was food in there from 2002! so well before Emily! So all is cleaned out and now the cleaner can go in and clean! So he is starting to think about what is needed to be done! Keep us in your thoughts and any spare energy send our way! :) Love to you all! Ruth, Keith, Aiden and Emily Sunday, January 14, 2007A New Year
This will be the year our family grows and we are counting down the minutes, hours and days! The Rumour queen site says that it will be 7 months! Argh before referral! I do hope China speeds up a little! A lot actually!
We spent New Years eve having dinner in Town then we all went to Happy Feet the movie! Emily sat through the whole thing! and then we went for a walk and a coffee and Ice-cream at McDonald's! Then back to the Octagon for a last dance and song before the 2007 was welcomed in with fireworks! Emily lasted the distance really well and then asked after the fireworks to go home to bed! Which she did after wishing everyone a Happy New Year! She was so cute! We have a full on start to the new year and have heaps to do personally and professionally! So here is wishing you all a fantastic year and good health and happiness in 2007! Love the Kelsall's Christmas day 2006
Well I know Christmas has come and gone and we are almost halfway through January! But I thought that since I was up so early I would post our Christmas day holiday photos!
We had a lovely relaxing Christmas day! The kids were spoilt and Aiden towards the end of his presents decided that Emily had more and he was sad and finally we gave him his last gift to open! He got a cell phone from us and was so thrilled! He thought he wouldn't get one and we gave him several layers to open to add to his anxiety! Mean parents I know but as he retells his present list he remembers the boxes and the empty box of chocolates saying try again! We love You! We spent the day at home with Keith's Mum and then we went down to my sisters for a couple of hours where among more presents was our niece Laura who had arrived home from Milan! I was so surprised and dumbfounded that Laura was there and Sandra did say you knew I told you! I said you said Alex was getting a surprise! I need to be hit round the head and told in black and white! I am so tired that I don't get the clues others would! So a fantastic day with happy children and a low stress Christmas for us all to remember! Life is great!
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