Health Warning for Women (JOKE!)

Just so you know this is for amusement only!


Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you suffer from shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or
pharmacist about White Wine.

White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. White Wine can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will
discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine. White Wine may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

WARNING:

The consumption of White Wine may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.

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WARNING:

The consumption of White Wine may cause you to tell your friends over
and over again that you love them.

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WARNING:

The consumption of White Wine may cause you to think you can sing.

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WARNING:

The consumption of White Wine may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

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WARNING:

The consumption of White Wine may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

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WARNING:

The consumption of White Wine may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NOW JUST IMAGINE WHAT YOU COULD ACHIEVE WITH RED WINE!!!

Chalk drawings

What amazes me is that someone is that clever to think these up! I love Santa!
Enjoy!
Thanks Roz for sharing these with me!

General update contd part 3!

Well we made it home on the 28 June and we were happy to just potter around!
We were getting ready to visit Keith's Mum and introduce Alice to her on the the Sunday and were about to head out the door when we got a phone call from the Meals on Wheels woman who had found Ann on the the floor in her kitchen and she had been there for at least 18 hours!
We later found out Ann had not fallen and had laid down and waited for Keith to visit as she knew we were home!
She was in hospital for 2.5 weeks and finally it was decided that she would not be returning home and had to be admitted to a nursing home. Her mental state is very fuzzy and sadly she can't remember what she had for lunch with in an hour currently she is recognizing us but that is only a matter of time.
It has been very hard on Keith and he is suffering big time.
Which then has impacted on my work so now I am going to take 14 weeks paid parental leave so I will return to work in November. This has meant a drop of income and increase in childcare costs so means we are watching our pennies!
Also to through into the mix is Alice doesn't sleep very well!
And she takes so long to drink a bottle! 1.5 hours yesterday!
Then just to compound everything is Emily's eye infection flared up yet again! And she has had emergency surgery her eyelashes sit on her eyeball. So they cut away a little of fold of skin under her lower lid. This was successful but did take 3 days to get an emergency slot. So poor Emily did really well the lucky thing was it was during a holiday period so that gave us a little reprieve.
So all in all the household is now just getting back to normal! what ever our new normal is!
We have visitors arriving today so it will be great to catch up with them and introduce Miss Alice to them!
And also as this week closes here in NZ we are looking forward to the Olympic games. Makes me want to buy a plane ticket today to head to Beijing!
Hugs and have a safe and happy weekend!
Ruth

We interrupt this general catch up!

Here is Miss Alice being Oh so Cute this morning! Enjoy!

A general catch up contd!

We made it to Beijing and was great to catch up with everyone in Beijing and to see Julie our guide from 2004 waiting for us at the airport!
Today we also took Emily to the SOS Dr and got some more cream for her eye it was still getting infected and the said that she should have surgery to fix the eyelashes from touching her eye!
They also looked at Aiden who had got a Sty developing in his eye and were very rough with his eye and he nearly cried he did scream as the Dr grabbed his eye and twisted the lid to get a good look!
3000RMB later we left with medicine. It was a lovely facility and wouldn't hesitate to go there again!
That evening we caught up with the group but it very fractured! It will be an interesting week! Emily was so pleased to see Maia and it was great to see all the new families.
Sunday we went to Tianmein square and then onto a acrobat show in the evening that was great.
We went and bought Prams on Sunday night after the show and that was great we have two Strollers so Emily can have one! we also did some shopping for Maia's birthday will head back to the children's store again but we did lost and ended up asking a police officer for directions and then getting a taxi! MacDonalds for dinner that night!
Monday was a down day and was great to go exploring! we went out shopping and saw a few bits and pieces found the silk Market I so want to spend some time in there! took the train to get there and back!
Tuesday Vicky and I headed to CCAA and that was an experience we finally got there after the taxi driver getting lost several times!
We collected the CCAA Elder respecting books and then headed home in another taxi!
It was a truly amazing experience sitting in there waiting this is the place that matched Alice and Johnny to our families it was a bit surreal!
There was also a hiccup with our Visa's and we needed to pay more money so that was all sorted and Julie ended up putting the extra on her Visa card!
Wednesday we went to the Great Wall it was lovely to see Emily identify with it! we walked up to the top area after struggling I so wanted to quit! and Emily was going to be nightmarish to get down and I was right we had tears and tantrums all the way down and several times I stopped with her and threw a mock one too much to the delight of several hundred Chinese people!
It was so hot and I was thinking about all the stuff we had to do to get ready to head home!
Thursday was a whirl wind of packing and heading to the airport. It was anxious because the check in attendant thought Alice's paperwork wasn't right!
We so wanted to get on the plane!
When we finally did we sat on the plane for 2.5 hours before we had permission to take off! well that meant we missed our connecting flight home and we ended up being into Hong Kong very late the airline did arrange us with accommodation and that was helpful but no changes of clothes and almost not enough formula for Alice!
So finally we boarded our plane home and we were relieved to land in Auckland only two more flights to Dunedin! we were rushing to get them and only made it by the skin of our teeth!
It was great to see so many people at the airports and it was so great if slightly surreal to be home! Lee had left us food in the fridge and had tidied our house from top to bottom so appreciated!
Also all the flowers and gifts we recieved for Alice over the next few days was also appreciated!

A general catchup!

Life here has been a hectic round of stress inducing complications which is why I never finished with all the stories from China! Blogger being down and uploading photos so slow in China and now we are home safe and sound life has become extremely hectic!
So here is a catch up!

this was from 20 June 2008
Alice is a delight very shut down which is to be expected but the
depth has been interesting and the fact that she regressed very far
was interesting to be so quiet and placid! She is so beautiful very
fine bone structure. She has such long fingers and long feet which
are very fine!
Emily has had some tough days and the orphanage visit to Alice's was
tough! She thought we were going to give Alice back! Even though we said we wouldn't it wasn't until we were heading home till she relaxed!
On the way there to Fengcheng city which was only 50km away but on a
national road a bit like a dirt back road in a van that was very bumpy. Alice had slept most of
the way woke looked like she wanted a bottle I gave her about half!
Then my darling beautiful daughter did the most amazing burp and then powerchuck before I could do a thing! and it was revoltingly rancid! All over my top,singlet, pants and bra I was covered she only had it on her shirt!
She has been in a sling on most outings for attachment and it was
working well that was covered too! I had bought a change of clothes
for her but not me and I stunk! It is so much easier to get a baby
clean after sick rather than an adult!
So after 4 minutes driving we pulled over into an area where there
was some houses and the guide asked if we could use the back of the
house to change baby and me! well I didn't have a change of clothes
so I stripped off in the middle of China down to my bra shoved a hose through My bra to remove all the vomit well as much as possible and
then washed my top shirt and put that back on the singlet went in the vomit bag along with my singlet! I felt naked even though the guide and Jean said I wasn't! What amazed Jean was I was so calm and
methodical also the fact she said she should take photos of it! I so
okay! But none were taken the local farmers of the area all came for
a look at the big white woman almost naked standing in a very small
part of there house!
For Alice I think it was motion sickness we moved up the van and from then on she was fine! I stank! Then I had to go meet the director and the foster mother so I have had amazing adventures that have been told around the world already!
I only cried when I said goodbye to the foster Mother. Alice is such
a delight and more and more of her personality is showing you can see how much she loved Alice and the foster mother slipped Keith her
phone number.
So we have contact also we gave her my business card!
Yesterday was just sightseeing but was well over 30 degrees too hot
and we got a chop and Calligraphy done for Alice!
Well I will sign off I can't wait for you to meet Alice Sandra Min
Shu as I am sure you will not want to give her back so is just so
precious like all our children!
I am so glad we have done this again! I have barely cried a tear and
the difference this time is amazing!
We have all been on an amazing journey!
Emily is a lot shaken but doing well and Keith has to learn she too
needs to regress! Aiden is in love and realises even more how tough
it can be to be a parent! So hopefully he will delay those desires
for a lot longer yet!

We pack tonight for our 6am start to Beijing!
And I think the internet is even harder there! so I will try and
email and keep the photos coming!